I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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