Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
