I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
