my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
