just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
