Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
