random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
