lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
