No awkward lesbian experiences without me
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Randomize
