alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
