Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
