Fuck appropriateness.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
