Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
