Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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