Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
