bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize