Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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