it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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