I understand Curling. That high.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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