Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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