he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
