what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I don't deserve a penis
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
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