That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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