his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Alive.
So much puke
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
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