..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Damn victory sex feels great
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
