Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
