i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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