I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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