Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
This house was built for laser tag.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
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