I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
