he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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