census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
They took my balls.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize