Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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