you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
