you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
