She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Randomize
