Already got asked if we're dating
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize