I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
