is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
