Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
