he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
