I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
