I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
