Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i dont even know how to be here
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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