I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize