worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
We are all done wearing pants today
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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