i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
