Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
