i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
