so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
