I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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