hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
