I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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