good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
