I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
