she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
