am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
