Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
so let's talk penis.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
