Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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